How to Deal with Dementia in a Parent

 In Dementia Care, Moving into Care

Discovering that a parent has dementia can be an emotionally challenging and overwhelming experience. This guide aims to provide you with practical advice and emotional support as you navigate this new chapter in your family’s life. 

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and with the right approach, you can ensure your parent receives the best care possible while also taking care of your own wellbeing.

Understanding Dementia

Before discussing strategies for dealing with dementia, it’s crucial to understand what dementia is and how it affects your parent.

Dementia is not a specific disease but rather a term that describes a group of symptoms affecting memory, thinking, and social abilities severely enough to interfere with daily life. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia, but there are many other types, including vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and frontotemporal dementia.

It’s important to note that dementia affects each person differently. Your parent’s symptoms, progression rate, and care needs will be unique to them. This understanding is key to providing personalised care and support.

Early Steps After Diagnosis

Upon receiving a dementia diagnosis for your parent, consider taking the following steps:

  1. Educate Yourself: Learn as much as you can about your parent’s specific type of dementia. Knowledge is power, and understanding the condition will help you anticipate challenges and plan accordingly.
  2. Seek Professional Help: Consult with healthcare professionals, including geriatricians, neurologists, and dementia specialists. They can provide valuable insights into managing the condition and planning for future care needs.
  3. Legal and Financial Planning: While your parent is still able, discuss and arrange important legal and financial matters. This may include setting up power of attorney, discussing wills, and planning for future care costs.
  4. Safety Assessment: Evaluate your parent’s living environment for potential safety hazards. Simple modifications can often make a big difference in preventing accidents and supporting independence.
  5. Build a Support Network: Reach out to family, friends, and support groups. Having a strong support system is crucial for both you and your parent.

Communication Strategies

Effective communication is key when caring for a parent with dementia. As the condition progresses, you may need to adapt your communication style. Here are some strategies to consider:

  • Speak Clearly and Slowly: Use simple words and sentences. Speak in a clear, calm voice at a slightly slower pace than usual.
  • Be Patient: Allow your parent plenty of time to respond. If they struggle to find words, gently suggest words to help them complete their thoughts.
  • Use Visual Cues: Gestures, facial expressions, and written notes can help reinforce your verbal communication.
  • Avoid Arguments: If your parent says something you disagree with, try not to argue. Remember, their perception of reality may be different due to the dementia.
  • Show Respect: Avoid talking down to your parent or speaking about them as if they weren’t there. Maintain their dignity by including them in conversations and decisions when possible.

Managing Behavioural Changes

Dementia can cause significant changes in behaviour and personality. These changes can be distressing, but understanding that they’re a result of the disease, not a choice, can help you respond more effectively:

  • Aggression: This can be verbal or physical and is often triggered by fear, confusion, or frustration. Stay calm, give them space, and try to identify and address the underlying cause. This is especially true when discussing the potential of moving them into care.
  • Wandering: This common behaviour can be dangerous. Consider safety measures like door alarms or ID bracelets. Establish a routine and provide engaging activities to reduce restlessness.
  • Sundowning: Increased confusion or agitation in the late afternoon or evening is common. Maintain a consistent routine, reduce noise and stimulation in the evening, and ensure a comfortable sleep environment.
  • Repetitive Behaviours: Your parent might repeat questions or actions. Stay patient, answer simply, and try to distract them with an activity if the behaviour becomes problematic.

Remember, these behaviours are symptoms of the disease, not intentional actions. Responding with patience and understanding can help reduce stress for both you and your parent.

Self-Care for Carers

Caring for a parent with dementia can be physically and emotionally draining. It’s crucial to take care of your own wellbeing to avoid burnout:

  • Take Regular Breaks: Respite care services, like those offered by Lidder Care, can provide temporary relief. Even short breaks can help you recharge.
  • Maintain Your Health: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep are essential. Don’t neglect your own medical check-ups.
  • Seek Emotional Support: Consider joining a support group for carers of people with dementia. Sharing experiences with others in similar situations can be incredibly helpful.
  • Pursue Your Interests: Continue with hobbies and activities you enjoy. Maintaining your own identity is important.
  • Accept Help: Don’t try to do everything alone. Accept offers of help from family and friends, and don’t be afraid to ask for assistance when needed.

Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish – it’s necessary to provide the best care for your parent.

Creating a Dementia-Friendly Environment

Adapting your parent’s living space can help them maintain independence and reduce confusion:

  • Reduce Clutter: A tidy, organised environment can be less confusing and safer to navigate.
  • Improve Lighting: Good lighting can reduce disorientation and prevent falls. Consider motion-sensor lights for night-time.
  • Use Labels and Signs: Clear, simple labels on drawers and doors can help your parent find things independently.
  • Ensure Safety: Install handrails, remove trip hazards, and consider safety devices like automatic shut-offs for the cooker.
  • Maintain Familiarity: Keep the environment as familiar as possible. Familiar objects and photographs can provide comfort and stimulate memories.

Planning for the Future

As dementia progresses, your parent’s care needs will likely increase. It’s important to plan ahead:

  • Discuss Care Preferences: While your parent is still able, discuss their preferences for future care. This can guide your decisions later on.
  • Research Care Options: Familiarise yourself with different care options, from in-home care to residential facilities. Lidder Care offers a range of services that can be tailored to your parent’s changing needs.
  • Financial Planning: Long-term care can be expensive. Consult with a financial advisor to plan for future care costs.
  • Consider Advanced Directives: These legal documents can ensure your parent’s healthcare wishes are respected if they become unable to make decisions.

When to Consider Professional Care

Knowing when to seek additional help is crucial. Consider professional care if:

  • Your parent’s safety is at risk
  • You’re feeling overwhelmed or your health is suffering
  • Your parent’s needs exceed what you can provide
  • Your parent would benefit from specialised care or social interaction

Lidder Care offers various levels of support, from visiting care to live-in care, that can complement your care efforts and ensure your parent receives the best possible support.

Cherishing Moments

While caring for a parent with dementia can be challenging, it’s important to cherish the moments you have together:

  • Focus on the Present: Enjoy the time you have with your parent now, rather than dwelling on how things used to be.
  • Create New Memories: Engage in activities your parent enjoys. Even if they don’t remember later, the positive emotions can linger.
  • Celebrate Small Victories: Whether it’s a moment of clarity or completing a task independently, celebrate these small but significant achievements.
  • Show Affection: Physical touch, like holding hands or a gentle hug, can be comforting and convey love when words fail.

Conclusion

Dealing with dementia in a parent is undoubtedly challenging, but with patience, understanding, and the right support, you can ensure your parent receives the best care possible while also taking care of yourself. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Organisations like Lidder Care are here to provide support, guidance, and professional care services tailored to your family’s unique needs.

As you navigate this path, hold onto the love you share with your parent. While dementia changes many things, it doesn’t change the bond between you. With compassion, resilience, and support, you can face the challenges of dementia care and find moments of joy and connection along the way.

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